Ruffled Feathers Parrot Sanctuary Inc.

03/10/2025 4:00pm Squirrel family Evicted No Notice From Downtown Statue One Left Behind In The Commotion.

Of Squirrels and Statues: A Rescue with a Side of Vertigo

The Call That Started It All

Got the call around 11:00 AM�something about rescuing a baby squirrel from a statue. Apparently, the little critter was stuck inside the gaping mouth of some metal fish� or whale� or possibly a very confused hybrid of both. I still don�t know what kind of creature this hunk of art was supposed to be, but one thing was clear: there was a squirrel trapped in its jaws, and it wasn�t happy about it.

Vertigo and Flashbacks

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Now, before we get into it, let me just say�I don�t do great with heights. I know, I know. Odd, considering I used to be a firefighter, climbing 75-foot telesquirts and making roof entries without a second thought. But that was before inner ear problems decided to turn my balance into a cruel joke. These days, I still go up when I need to�I just do it in a far more dangerous way.
This brings me to a flashback: the raccoon on the 5th-floor window ledge of a downtown hospital.

Pulled up to the scene and saw the setup�ladders stacked in levels, with landings every couple of floors. It had rained that morning, so everything was slick. I took one look and said, Nope. Surely, we could just shut the hospital room door and let the raccoon climb in through the window? I�d wrestle it into a gunny sack, problem solved. But no, that would be too easy.

A Raccoon and a Hospital Window

Just as I was about to sneak back into my truck and Irish Exit my way out of there, a hospital administrator spotted me. I was about to explain the dangers of dress shoes on wet ladders when this man�who had at least 30 years on me�just took off up the first ladder like it was nothing. Two and a half stories up in seconds. Now, that doesn�t sound like much when you say it, but try climbing a swaying, bouncing ladder that tall and see how you feel.

And here I was, trying to escape.

Couldn�t let some old guy in a suit make me look like a chicken, so up I went. The higher I climbed, the more it felt like I was in one of those M.C. Escher paintings�stairs going up, down, sideways, defying all logic. House of Stairs, that�s the one. Didn�t know that back then, but the internet can be a beautiful thing when used for good instead of evil.

We got to the last ladder, and the administrator pointed up. No ledge up there, but the raccoon�s right at the top of the window. I looked at him like he was nuts.

�And how exactly do you expect me to climb back down holding a raccoon inches from my face?�

Well, turns out the guy had a plan. From somewhere in that dapper (and likely expensive) suit, he pulled out a long coil of rope. No idea where he kept it, but I was impressed. He tied off the carrier, I climbed up, and by the grace of God, I wrestled that raccoon into it. The raccoon, mind you, had been amusing a very sick kid on the other side of the window. The moment I showed up, it decided it was done being cute.

Long story short: the administrator lowered the carrier down, we repeated the process all the way back, and I survived. The man passed down all kinds of wisdom that day, and hey, I didn�t let him show me up. That was five years ago, though. That guy had it way easier than this old, broken-down mule.

The Squirrel Show Begins

Which brings me back to this squirrel�the one I ended up rescuing from a statue with all the grace of a dad at a trampoline park. If there�s a handbook titled Rescuing Baby Squirrel from Statue for Dummies, I may have just written the first chapter with my leg.

This time, the person shooting the video didn�t even flinch. I had warned everyone: when I pulled the babies out, momma squirrel was probably going to come flying out of there like a furry bullet. Sure enough, she did�using my leg as a launch pad before making a beeline for the camera operator.

And she didn�t even move.

Don�t ask me how, but did you know squirrels can change direction mid-air? Well, they can. Instead of landing in this girl�s hair (which would have been a situation), momma curved off to the side. She made a couple of attempts to get her babies, got spooked, and took off. I like to believe she retreated to a backup nest, but I stuck around just in case.

When Waiting Doesn�t Work

Four hours later, the fire department was closing the gates for the night. Momma had only come back for one of the babies. For whatever reason, she didn�t return for the second.

So, I ran in, scooped up the abandoned one, and got out before they locked me in for the night. That squirrel�s now safe and warm, thanks to one very strange day of rescuing a baby squirrel from a statue shaped like aquatic nonsense. It�s warm, well-fed, and has an excellent chance of making it to release now. To the momma squirrel, I apologize�I gave you all the time I could. But maybe pick better nesting spots next time? The mouth of a metal fish/whale thing with no trees nearby? Questionable choice.

No squirrel support, no daddy squirrel in sight�bet he ran off to the bar. Same sad squirrel story. Not today, ma�am. Not today.

There�s plenty of blame to go around, so we�ll just call it even.

Have a great evening, everyone. ???

You can see some images from this run below…
What to do if you find a baby squirrel on the ground…
Some good tips in this video without me even saying much. I’ll share it below since I know it won’t be seen here before I get it on YouTube. LOl …